Sunday, February 12, 2012

Stubborn is the Ox

In the Chinese zodiac I'm an ox.  There are a lot of pretty cool things about oxen; they're strong and calm, they can pull a wagon and have cool horns that could be useful in spearing things.  But there's also this other side to them. A review of my Chinese zodiac reads something like this: they are tireless, detail-oriented workers who believe in doing things right the first time. They tend to be stubborn, dogmatic, my-way-or-the-highway kind of people who have no concept of when to back down.

Who, muuuah???
Yeah. That's pretty much me. I’ve been battling these less-than desirable tendencies for well, my whole life I suppose, but they’ve taken on a gorgeously vivacious new force since commencing with this RV Experiment. I have had this annoying nag of a voice in my head for the past couple weeks. It keeps reminding me of obnoxious things. It weighs heavy with the notion that perhaps…just maybe…there’s a small chance that…umm, engaging in this project at the moment is just way too much for me to handle!!

Damn, this lifestyle is hard!!! For example, there is never much consistency, it’s cold, there are interminable projects that need immediate attention, and there’s the constant threat of being ticketed a thick chunk of change if I don’t move her parking spot on the appropriate days.

Let me back up a bit.

The reason for the month long blogging absence is my full-time commitment to school. I'm in college at fancy-pants Mills where I have taken on a rigorous and ridiculously jam-packed schedule. Take two English classes, one radically bizarre Poetry workshop, one way-too-advanced level Spanish class, two jobs, some time to exercise, some time to talk to people and make friends, some more time to eat here and there, toss in some extraneous crap like commuting, shopping for necessities like candles and toothpaste and bathing, don’t forget catching up with family and reading essays and writing papers ad nauseum and conjugating verbs in past tense imperfecto or past tense preterito depending on the context…yeah, I don’t have much in the way of extra energy.

Not only has this effected the frequency with which I’m writing for the hell of it, but this energy is exactly what one would need to be able to continue thriving in the type of experiment I’ve intended to live in for one whole year, 365 damn days of uncertainty, challenge and newness…

In the past weeks I’ve have had to come to the sobering decision to change the way this experiment looks. It’s heartbreaking really. But, I’m not giving up totally. I mean, I’m an ox after all.

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