Wednesday, November 21, 2018

haha

i live with loss.
i love with skeletons. future ghosts.
untethered ones. who find wormholes in between bouts of communication. fits of furrowed fantasies.

i live in the credited time. the one I pay back - not them - I.
after their scent is stronger than their Self.

i live with legends. who haunt the hallways of my memory. make more space than is healthy. 
carve into the woodgrain - their initials - then "haha".

i love with bones. no meat remains. nor mumbles anymore.
just wind blown in by the dashing of bodies. the retreating of healing.
i live with ghosts. 

Monday, November 19, 2018

the un-knowing of a boy

the superficial bolster
the way I feel okay today
having been urged to open up
to trust
to believe

if i could have told me
too

operating from a cloudy heart
the one that doesn't pull apart fear from weird
boundary from neared love

he asked me to believe
to take leave of suspicion
to retire my intuition that he was ill-equipped to see into fruition a real loving thing

how to remain
how to entertain the universe when is brings tricks
when it treats your heart like a piece of meat
how i can't even beat my brain into getting it

trust
and release

surrender into the unknowing
let the un-showing of me proceed
let the growing of me precede
let the un-knowing of a boy just be