Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Let It Flow

I am steeped in the remembrance of your affection.
The memories are flooding my cup
and spilling over the rim in quick, steamy droplets…
thick with an opaque heartache that bonds instantly to the table’s top

My knees jerk
and the liquid jets through small holes in my soul…
mirroring the loquacious conversation that loops in my mind.
The one that reflects your image in holographic torment.

Your haunting is unlike a phantom’s
yet it’s phantasmorgical images dance in the colors of a kaleidoscope.
A continual repetition of thoughts
and possibilities
taunt me without end.

You speak to me in a buzz,
a Morse Code unique to us,
and visit me in dreams…
a few minutes of deliverance;
a modest recess from the separation that grows daily between our bodies.

I cling,
then push away.
I fight and bleed for the risk,
then scamper off in harsh reprisal of my own self…
of my own naïveté and unsophisticated attitude towards the viscosity of our situation.

For I fear.
I possess fear.
You are dear.
You possess me.

And no matter what words you speak that saunter to my eardrums
like mellifluous lyrics of a song too familiar.
Or what flashes of fondness strike swiftly through me.
Regardless of your smile so warm with the drifting colors of sunset…
or the buds of red roses finding bloom in my chest.
No matter what chemistry develops in the belly of a bubble
or sparkle of starlight that I understand in your eyes…

I must persist
with this route
and lay down the asphalt…over these rhapsodic wounds.
Even if tiny segments…seemingly crumbled upon assembly,
they remain elements of healing.
And agents of accuracy.

I cannot imbibe this potation
any quicker than it is intended to be.
If I try, I will fail
to absorb its remedial qualities.

I would exhaust my already weak resolve…or
drown it in the complexity of this cocktail.
My laboring energy would reach its noxious nadir
while the pound of my heart’s chamber would quietly strum to its death.
Overcome and disillusioned
I would be solitary yet, even with you alongside.

For we have yet to reach our zeniths
in individualized expressions.

(Written Halloween 2011)

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